I think my fart just growled at me.
i just google imaged poop.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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