she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
