I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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