and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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