Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just found puke in my bra..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
