just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
