I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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