It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I could fuck to npr.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize