the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
