I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
