I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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