i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
