College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
