So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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