ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
