I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
