He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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