If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
