whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize