I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
