Quick, to the slutcave!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
