Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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