Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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