Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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