got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
