Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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