She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
please come you make the beer taste better
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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