If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
