Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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