i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
