He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
