how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
