At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize