Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
