Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
