Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
