oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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