Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
