I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
