Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
