Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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