Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
