and i looked up. we had an audience...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
A bitchslap is in order.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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