My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
