i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize