That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
