mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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