you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
