he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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