people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
