so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just forgot I was standing up.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
