Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
