how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize