I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
