Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
