Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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