dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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