My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Randomize
