Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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