Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We need to rekindle our bromance
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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