Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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