there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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