Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
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