I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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