You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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