Is it because I queefed?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Actions speak louder than pants.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
