need another drink. this is the easiest way
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize