Buhtt sex?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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