Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
